So, I was in a hurry, and didn't read the copious verbiage on TeX Live as directed by the TeX Live Utility when you have an out-of-date TeX Live install (I had 2010).
So, I'm comfortable with the command line and figured I'd be OK following the directions next to the bolded text: How to acquire TeX Live (using install-tl).
That installed something I could use from the command line, but none of the Mac stuff could find it (system panel, TeX Live Utility, …). Changing the location of my TeX Live distribution in the preferences resulted in a very limited file selection dialog. I tried dragging the /usr/local/texlive/.../bin for TeX Live 2012 into this dialog, and it let me do that. But, it still seems to think I'm at 2010.
So, I looked around and found the MacTeX Additions package, which seemed to expect an installed TeX Live, and would do the rest. This resulted in no change.
Then, I downloaded and installed the full MacTeX 2012 package. Now, TeX Live 2012 shows up in my preferences pane, but TeX Live utility is still borked.
So
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can we please change the documentation so this doesn't happen so much? It seems like people go the install-tl route on OSX with some frequency based on the questions on this site!
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I am afraid I have no idea how to update my TeX Live Utility so it'll work correctly. Any pointers? I suspect if I just delete the preferences for it, that'd work. I don't think that deleting it and reinstalling will work, as I tried that too!
Best Answer
Rather than installing a new version of TeXLive, a better solution might be to install the latest version of MacTex, which contains a stable version of TeXLive and Tex Live Utility. I'm downloading that now...If I don't post that this was successful in a day or so, shoot me a reminder!
Others may find this helpful: Tex Distribution Pane not working after installing BasicTex2013. I also elaborated there some of my own difficulties....