There is no object property you can change to alter the highlight selection color.
As a workaround, in your list selection callback, you can deselect the item to remove the highlight, and change the background color using the HTML method Adam linked to. The following answers page provides a good example of how to change the text colors in individual rows, you can modify it to change the "bgcolor" instead of "color" (in the line pre = ...), which will "highlight" that list item.
https://www.mathworks.com/matlabcentral/answers/153064-change-color-of-each-individual-string-in-a-listbox
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