Here are my notes, since I like fairly explicit answers.
In case anyone wants to see the other examples more briefly:
Elementary abelian p-groups of order pn are found TI in PSL(2,pn). Such subgroups are uniquely identified by which subspace they stabilize.
Quaternion 2-groups are found TI in the their semi-direct products with their (unique) faithful irreducible module over a prime field of odd order. The key point is that the unique element of order 2 acts fixed-point-freely on the module, and so is not contained in the intersection of any two distinct Sylow 2-subgroups.
A weaker question has a positive answer:
For every p-group P is there a finite group G such that for some g in G, P ∩ Pg = 1?
Yes. For any p-group P, take G to be the semi-direct product of P with a large enough faithful module V over a finite field of characteristic not p. Then consider the union of CV(x) as x varies over P. Since V is faithful, each centralizer is a proper subspace, and if V has large enough dimension, it cannot be written as the union of |P| proper subspaces. If v is some element of V outside that union of centralizers, then P ∩ Pv = 1.
For p = 2, the classification is due to Suzuki (1964) who discovered his infinite family of finite simple groups in this same line of investigation. Not only did he classify the possibly P, but also the possible G. Let N be the largest odd-order normal subgroup of G.
- P is cyclic and G = P ⋉ N
- P is quaternion of order 8, and either G = P ⋉ N, or G / N ≅ SL(2,3)
- P is generalized quaternion and G = P ⋉ N
- P is elementary abelian of order 2n and PSL(2,2n) ≤ G / N ≤ PΓL(2,2n)
- P is the Sylow 2-subgroup of PSU(3,2n) and PSU(3,2n) ≤ G / N ≤ PΓU(3,2n) — P is sort of a GF(2n) version of the quaternion group of order 8.
- P is the Sylow 2-subgroup of Sz(2n) and G / N = Sz(2n)
In other words, I missed two infinite families (and one fusion system). The structure of N is restricted, but not I think not classified. In some sense, one should read this list as "there exists an N such that...".
The classification for odd p appears to be a post-CFSG result, and is closely related to strongly embedded subgroups (similar to the concept Arturo mentions below: malnormal). The strongly embedded list is on page 383 - 384 of number 3 of the GLS writeup of the CFSG. The TI list is in Blau-Michler (1990), but is based on older lists I have not yet tracked down.
Other than cyclic and elementary abelian, there are a few more infinitely families, and a few sporadic exceptions.
Bibliography:
Suzuki, Michio.
"Finite groups of even order in which Sylow 2-groups are independent."
Ann. of Math. (2) 80 (1964) 58–77.
MR162841
DOI:10.2307/1970491
Blau, H. I.; Michler, G. O.
"Modular representation theory of finite groups with T.I. Sylow p-subgroups."
Trans. Amer. Math. Soc. 319 (1990), no. 2, 417–468.
MR957081
DOI:10.2307/2001249
If $K$ is a normal subgroup of $G$ of order $4$, you may well argue in $H = G/K$, and reduce to show, via the correspondence theorem, that in a group of order $2 \cdot 3 \cdot 7 = 42$ there must be a normal subgroup of order $7$.
To do this, just consider that the number of $7$-Sylow subgroups in $H$ must divide $42/7 = 6$, and be congruent to $1$ modulo $7$.
Best Answer
Hint: As you noticed, the elements of order $7$ are the $7$-cycles. WLOG, let $P$ be the group generated by $(1\ 2\ 3 \ 4 \ 5 \ 6\ 7) = \sigma$. Then clearly $P$ normalizes itself.
If we use the fact than in any group $G$, for two subsets $H,K$ of $G$, we have $$|HK| = \frac{|H| |K|}{|H \cap K|} $$ we can form a set of order $42$ if we let $H = P$ and $K$ be a group generated by a $6$-cycle. If this $6$-cycle happens to normalize $P$, we've formed a set of order $42$ where each element normalizes $P$. Since $|N_G(P)| = 42$, this set must be $N_G(P)$. So you just need to find a $6$ cycle that normalizes $P$
I will throw in the additional fact that for any $k$-cycle $(a_1\ a_2\ ... a_k) = x$ and permutation $\tau$, we have that $\tau x \tau^{-1} = (\tau (a_1)\ \tau( a_2) \ ... \tau( a_k))$