You are totally correct in your assumption that error bars representing the standard error of the mean are totally inappropriate for within-subject designs. However, the question of overlapping error bars and significance is yet another topic, to which I will come back at the end of this commented reference list.
There is rich literature from Psychology on within-subject confidence intervals or error bars which do exactly what you want. The reference work is clearly:
Loftus, G. R., & Masson, M. E. J. (1994). Using confidence intervals in within-subject designs. Psychonomic Bulletin & Review, 1(4), 476–490. doi:10.3758/BF03210951
However, their problem is that they use the same error term for all levels of a within-subject factor. This does not seem to be a huge problem for your case (2 levels). But there are more modern approaches solving this problem. Most notably:
Franz, V., & Loftus, G. (2012). Standard errors and confidence intervals in within-subjects designs: Generalizing Loftus and Masson (1994) and avoiding the biases of alternative accounts. Psychonomic Bulletin & Review, 1–10. doi:10.3758/s13423-012-0230-1
Baguley, T. (2011). Calculating and graphing within-subject confidence intervals for ANOVA. Behavior Research Methods. doi:10.3758/s13428-011-0123-7 [can be found here]
Further references can be found in the latter two papers (which I think are both worth a read).
How do researchers interpret CIs? Bad according to the following paper:
Belia, S., Fidler, F., Williams, J., & Cumming, G. (2005). Researchers Misunderstand Confidence Intervals and Standard Error Bars. Psychological Methods, 10(4), 389–396. doi:10.1037/1082-989X.10.4.389
How should we interpret overlapping and non-overlapping CIs?
Cumming, G., & Finch, S. (2005). Inference by Eye: Confidence Intervals and How to Read Pictures of Data. American Psychologist, 60(2), 170–180. doi:10.1037/0003-066X.60.2.170
One final thought (although this is not relevant to your case): If you have a split-plot design (i.e., within- and between-subject factors) in one plot, you can forget about error bars all together. I would (humbly) recommend my raw.means.plot function in the R package plotrix.
Best Answer
To me the best default approach is to always use confidence intervals, using methods that recognize that the intervals should usually be asymmetric. Use of $\pm k\times$SE implies symmetry that doesn't hold when the underlying data distribution is very asymmetric.
If you want to show data distributions rather than precision of estimates of central tendency, then plotting the 0.25 and 0.75 quantiles along with the median often work well.