[Tex/LaTex] How to make the document look like it was written by a Cthulhu-worshipping madman

fontsfuntypography

I want to type up some spells from the RPG Call of Cthulhu and give them to my players. I could just type them up in Word or LaTeX, but that seems too…neat. I'd like to make these things look like they were scrawled by a gibbering madman, unhinged by the horrors he has witnessed. Bonus points if you can add any traces of H. P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu Mythos.

Less poetically: Typefaces to make it look scrawled or handwritten, preferably with a quill or calligraphy pen. Ways to make the word spacing less regular (Abuse microtype in some way?) and ways to put in drop caps are the kind of things I'm looking for.

Bonus points if you can tell me how to typeset an elder sign.

Alright, editing this to be more specific:

  • A font to make it look handwritten or calligraphic. I was under the
    (mistaken) impression that fonts in LaTeX were restricted to a few
    packages on CTAN, so I was hoping for a suggestion for a good one. I
    can find one in a free typeface repository somewhere, though if
    anyone has suggestions I'd love to hear them.
  • Dropcaps.
  • Possibly adding a texture or such to make it look like it is
    written on parchment?
  • Changing the size of the writing at various points, preferably
    randomly
  • Changing interword spacing randomly.

Best Answer

(Improved answer thanks to Bruno's help on his code)

I've implemented some of the things I mentioned in my earlier answer, but I felt this was different enough to get a separate answer.

Once again, tex.sx provided me with a couple of things I needed for this. Bruno Le Floch wrote some code that rotates arguments at a random angle and helped shortening it for this answer. Martin Scharrer showed how to execute a command for every word. Thanks to both of them.

Starting at the top of the code, here's what I did to change the design:

  • default font size 17 via extarticle document class
  • double line spacing
  • define a command \eldersign that inserts an elder sign, sized in relation to the current font size. You need to find an elder sign that you can use, I put in the placeholder eldersignimagefile. I recommend using a PNG image or some other format providing background transparency.
  • change the default font to Teen Spirit – you can use any font you like, there certainly are better ones on the Internet. Use them with XeLaTeX and fontspec, as I described in my other answer. (I haven't tested Bruno's and Martin's code with XeLaTeX though.) With a different font, you might want to choose a different font size and different rotation angles.
  • remove page number
  • free parchment background image that I found at http://www.alfredom.com/art/free-6.htm, here named backgroundimagefile
  • centered everything
  • changed the text color to MidnightBlue (svgnames color scheme)

Whenever you want to typeset text crazily, you have to pass it as an argument to \cthulhu. For an elder sign, just use \eldersign. You might want to adapt your image to suit the text color.

DISCLAIMER

This is just hacked together and you will very likely run into problems once you start using it more extensively. Take it as inspiration. It was fun for me putting it together. Feel free to make suggestions on how to improve this.

\documentclass[17pt]{extarticle}% This is a document class providing more font size options

\usepackage[svgnames]{xcolor}
\usepackage{graphicx}
\usepackage{emerald}% font package
\usepackage[doublespacing]{setspace}% line spacing
\usepackage[T1]{fontenc}
\usepackage{wallpaper}

% thanks to Bruno Le Floch: https://tex.stackexchange.com/q/9331/4012
% and in his comments to https://tex.stackexchange.com/a/29458/4012
\usepackage{rotating}
\usepackage[first=-6,last=6]{lcg}% you can play around with these values
\makeatletter
\newcommand{\globalrand}{\rand\global\cr@nd\cr@nd}
\makeatother

\newcommand{\randomrotation}[1]{\globalrand\turnbox{\value{rand}}{#1}\phantom{#1}}

% thanks to Martin Scharrer: https://tex.stackexchange.com/q/11598/4012
\makeatletter
\def\cthulhu#1{%
    \@cthulhu#1 \@empty
}
\def\@cthulhu#1 #2{%
   \randomrotation{#1}\space
   \ifx #2\@empty\else
    \expandafter\@cthulhu
   \fi
   #2%
}
\makeatother
% ----------

\newcommand{\eldersign}{\raisebox{-.5\height}{\includegraphics[height=3ex]{eldersignimagefile}}}

\renewcommand*{\rmdefault}{fts}

\begin{document}\pagestyle{empty}\CenterWallPaper{}{backgroundimagefile}

\centering% that madman wouldn't justify his writings
\color{MidnightBlue}% my pick for "looks like ink"

\cthulhu{Hello, I am crazy. I am a Cthulhu worshipping gibbering madman, unhinged by
the horrors I have witnessed. I am a Cthulhu worshipping gibbering madman, unhinged by
the horrors I have witnessed. I am a Cthulhu worshipping gibbering madman, unhinged by 
the horrors I have witnessed. I am a Cthulhu worshipping gibbering madman, unhinged by 
the horrors I have witnessed. I am a Cthulhu worshipping gibbering madman, unhinged by 
the horrors I have witnessed.} \eldersign

\end{document}

picture of the output

On the other points you mentioned: I don't think Dropcaps would look good here; they convey something of a plannedness which wouldn't be in the style of my madman. As for font size changes and random word spacing, I don't know how to do that automarandomly.