I'm afraid you hit on something that can't be easily solved. Here for comparison all possible solutions for making math stuff bold and then a handmade bold tilde T:
\documentclass{standalone}
\usepackage{amsbsy}
\usepackage{bm}
\usepackage{fixmath}
\usepackage{graphicx}
\begin{document}
% not bold
$\widetilde T$
% not bold enough either
$\mathbf{\widetilde T}$
$\pmb{\widetilde T}$
\boldmath$\widetilde T$
$\boldsymbol{\widetilde T}$
$\bm{\widetilde T}$
$\mathbold{\widetilde T}$
% maybe even crayons would be easier and prettier but well ...
\raisebox{.7em}{\resizebox{.6em}{!}{\ensuremath{\bm{\sim}}}}\hspace{-.7em}$T$
\end{document}
Using .8em in the raisebox will be about the same height as the other tildes but I personally liked it better this way. I'm not saying it's pretty and I'm not saying it's easy :/
Best Answer
Use
\tilde{\jmath}
, but one may argue that thej
character is not really nice then.